A Brother's Journey: Surviving a Childhood of Abuse by Pelzer Richard B
Author:Pelzer, Richard B. [Pelzer, Richard B.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2004-12-31T16:00:00+00:00
For so long I was someone who caused David great harm. I was the one who kept him down and lied to Mom about anything he did. I exaggerated everything he did, and didn’t do, to keep him in trouble. And now that he’d been freed, I was the one who was down. The one who was afraid. The one that stood in fear, trembling and ashamed to lift my head up.
And just moments before, I’d stood looking at the very one whom I once couldn’t understand at all.
Now I understand.
I understand all too well.
At the age of nine, I had gone from predator to prey.
I now fully understood what my older brother was afraid of and why he couldn’t sleep at night. I understood why he constantly hung his head down. Not out of shame but out of a sort of twisted respect that Mom commanded.
At some point Mom became convinced that David was out of the Bay Area and living in a jail for kids. She became satisfied that he was finally out of our lives. She was now less afraid of him showing up unexpectedly. But she made certain that I was well aware of the punishment that would follow if I were ever to lay eyes on him again. I was more afraid to see David and have Mom find out than to see David and have him get some sort of revenge on me.
“You’ll find yourself in the cell next to him if you open your mouth just once,” she would tell me.
As sad as it was, I had to convince myself that David was no longer a brother, he was no longer a thought, he was no longer alive.
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